I got this shitass e-mail from my sister-in-law...careful, it's dripping with self-righteousness:

Hi All,
I wanted to poll you all, since you are dear friends, and a need has been made known to me. One of my good friends from high school is in full time ministry with Campus Crusade for Christ. He and his family are trying to raise more support, and asked me if we'd be willing to host a dinner here at the Mopho house, with a brief presentation from him afterward. If you are looking for areas to give, might I suggest this sweet family? Both my friend work full time on a college campus. They have traveled to FL, CO, New
Orleans and Asia on trips with their students, advancing the gospel
and blessings others.

If you're interested please let me know soon, and I'll be in touch
with you all to set it up. I know we have a plethora of
choices in areas to give, and if you aren't looking to give any more at this time, I understand.

I appreciate you considering it,
Nappy for the Mophos

"The document still doesn't make any sense. It just happens to be grammatically correct now," said Annerbelly after editing 60 pages of something at the office.

"he is going to be the first person in the
history of whole entire frikkin' world to get bed
sores from having eye surgery."

My best friend Jennay has been taking care of her dad since he had some very MINOR surgery last week. Jennay was supposed to take care of him only for 24 hours, but he just won't leave. This is an able-bodied man who is only in his 50s. Here's the e-mail she sent:

Dear Annerbelly,
I've been saying to myself since Saturday, "Well, he's GOT to go home and do for himself SOMETIME."

You should have seen Dadddy Thursday night, when we couldn't find his Darvoset. He started RAVING like a lunatic but refused to take a Percoset of mine because "I wouldn't take that unless JESUS
HIMSELF offered it to me!!!!" and he continued ranting and
raving like a jackass. It was just a mess. I'm thinking about drowning him in the lake. Wonder if I could get away with it?

Oh, and in his old age and sickness, Daddy has somehow
taken to being a revival preacher and I seem to be his
test audience for some reason. I've heard more
lectures on how how "awful - just AWFUL" my mouth is
in the past fours days than I can count. I think the
best conversation went like this:

Daddy: "Your mouth, Jennay, is just awful. You gotta ask
God to forgive you for that... I wouldn't HAVE a woman
with a mouth like that or with a cigarette hanging out
her mouth." (keep in mind now, that Daddy has fucking
smoked for 30+ years)

Daddy (upon further rumination) "Well, I can say this
for you, at least you DID go to college. At least you're not an uneducated floozie."

(Daddy on the other hand, dropped out after about 2 semesters at
UGA)

I was just too flabbergasted and exhausted with him at
this point to say a damn thing - then, oh and THEN, he
starts lecturing me on how he's "tired of all this
disagreeing" and believes we are all "God's children."
Obviously, we'd found the Darvoset at that point...

Take care,
Jennay

Good Morning Everyone,

I found us matching tee shirts for our Family Photo Shoot. Ladies will be in yellow and men in blue. If possible maybe the youngsters could wear the blue shirts Nappy purchased for the grandsons and the red and blue jumpers/sun dresses she bought the granddaughters back in June. They might need a top underneath by the end of September. Both granddaughters are growing so fast, if they have already outgrown the dresses, I'm sure anything will do. If the covered bridge is in the background as I'm hoping, please keep in mind that it is red so red clothing might not show up too well against the red of the bridge.

The photographer is going to take what ever groupings we want so please feel free to wear whatever you want for your individual family shots.

Oh yes, Pappy and Granny are joining us for the event. No questions asked or objections raised!!!!! They seemed thrilled at the idea.

Love,
Mom